A divorce is emotionally draining for the children, and it hurts them to see their parents part ways. Parents should provide their children with the emotional support that helps to process divorce and cope. Your reaction will significantly determine the way your children cope with divorce.
Break the News Delicately
Prepare the things to tell kids about divorce and answer tough questions. It might not be easy, but children should know the reason for divorce. Provide an honest explanation in a kid-friendly manner. For instance, you can tell them that you and your spouse no longer get along, so you cannot continue living together. Let the kids know that they are not to blame for the conflict because the row involves you, the adults. Avoid making statements like how you tried staying together because they will feel as if they are to blame.
Assure Children of Continued Love
Assure kids of your love and that nothing will change your concern about their lives. It might seem simple or obvious, but children are anxious about the future and want encouragement. They will be happy to hear your love will not change, and the input in their lives will stay. Make a point of playing your role to implement your promise to maintain love for the kids even if they will be living with your ex-partner.
Address Future Changes
Some things will change after divorce. Inform the children early that there will be changes like reducing the period they will stay with each parent or moving homes. Promise to assist them in dealing with the changes as they come and make sure you keep your word. However, do not make false promises for the sake of calming or silencing the kids. For instance, do not create an impression that they will see both of you always when one of you will leave home to stay miles away. It is okay to acknowledge that you are not sure about all the changes, but you are ready to help them handle them as they come.
Seek Support and Advice
Divorce is an overwhelming process, and you might not know the best way to handle some situations. For instance, a divorce law attorney will inform you about how to relate with kids after going separate ways without anything that infringes on their rights. A counselor will talk to the children to evaluate their challenges and advise on solutions. It is also essential to inform their class teachers that your children may not be in their normal state and require support. Close relatives and friends can also play a crucial role in encouraging the kids.
Avoid Demonizing Your Ex
It is wrong to talk ill about your former spouse to get the sympathy and support of the kids. You might be hurt but restrain from revealing all the dirty details about your ex. Children see both of you as parents. Lambasting one person puts them in a difficult position of taking sides. You may also hurt them because they still have feelings for your ex-partner and do not want someone to talk negatively about them.
It is essential to do everything possible to help children cope with divorce. The support includes helping them to fit into new routines.